It’s okay not to be happy all the time

29 Nov 2013

It’s okay not to be happy all the time

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The last week or so I’ve been feeling down and there isn’t any obvious reason for why I am feeling this way.  Since the events surrounding Alec began I’ve noticed this happens sometimes and I have no explanation.  I can list all kinds of reasons why I should be grateful or why I should be happy, but it doesn’t matter.  I’m always posting positive sayings, quotes and uplifting messages: I must never have a bad day? :-)

I struggle just like everyone else.  When it happens, self help pep talks have no real affect.  For some reason I seem to “want” to feel like I do.  It’s been over 3 years and part of me tells myself I should just get over it and move on.  What’s my problem?  I know better!  This doesn’t do me or anyone else any good, but I still feel the way i do.

A friend whose family experienced their own tragedy, her younger sister died in car accident around the same time things happened with Alec, shared with me a very insightful thought.  She and her family go through the same things.  Sometimes this subconscious sadness just comes over you.  There is no reason or logic behind it.  You need to hurt.  You need to be sad!  You just need to feel!

We talked and it was comforting to know I’m not alone in how I feel.  My heart hurts for her family and loss  just as her’s does for what happened to my family.  There is a silent, unspoken understanding of the need to feel what we do.

It’s okay for her to feel what she does.  It’s okay for me to feel what I do and it’s okay for you to feel what you do.  Each one of us has a history that includes guilt, regrets, mistakes and pain.  The important thing is what do we do with these feelings.  They happen, they’re natural and necessary.  If we don’t go through this process we’ll never heal!  Recognize it when it happens, acknowledge it’s okay to have these feelings, but don’t let them dominate your life.

Find something that lifts you up: a favorite story or poem, music, exercise, talk to someone, pray.  Whatever you need to do to take some of your focus off of what you are feeling and place it on something positive.  For me: talking to someone, music, reading the bible and helping others helps to ease my pain.

Remember what you are feeling is okay and natural.  Most of all, remember, it is temporary.  It will pass.  The sun will rise tomorrow.  If you don’t think you can handle it on your own talk to someone and get help.  It’s alright, You’re Not Alone!